Lari the Leper

I'm moving somewhere else to neglect.

At my Mom's this weekend taking care of her cats while she's camping. Lo and behold this invades my glance while trying to waste time on the interweb.

Ahh San Diego. Once upon a time you would get great comic news from the San Diego Comic Con. Now Quesada (the Editor in Chief at Marvel) makes a point of making the big announcements at the Chicago Con so it doesn't get drowned out by the Hollywood shit (By shit I mean stuff, not shit.). But that's fine cause what great movie buzz comes from the Con every year. The Fox panel sounded the best with the cast of RENO: 911 appearing in character and the same for BORAT.

But the official announcement for the new Trek. Suprisingly retro look. J.J. Abrams is now officially signed to produce with an option to direct. Him and LOST co-creator Damon Lindelof (who finally has gotten around to writing the 3rd issue of Ultimate Hulk vs Wolverine)are writing. I was a little worried for my boy Abrams after the box office of MI:3 (which is the best pure action film I've seen in quite some time.) but I guess Paramount is putting the blame on Cruise for that which pleases me 'cause Abrams did great work considering it was his a) first feature and b) his first feature being a tentpole title. Either way I'm glad it was Abrams and not JMS rebooting trek 'cause after reading his pitch it felt like a B5 retread.

Question: would it be too hackneyed if they got Dr. Cottle from BSG to play Bones in the reboot? Like have him play the exact same character just different names. Though maybe this time they'll be brave enough to make him the bigoted xenophobe (is that redundant?) we all knew Dr. McCoy to be. I saw it in his eyes, fantasizing about dragging that soulless devil-eared monster by horseback through the decks of the Enterprise.

We'll be taking a break for the next few weeks to watch something other than trash (don't fret it will also be a staple as long as I have a say in things). This week, well the headline says it all.

Mon. July 10th



7pm BATTLEGROUND (1949): Following a single infantry unit of the 101st Airborne during the Battles of Bastogne and the Bulge. Don't expect an action war film but an early attempt to tell a more truthful war film focusing on the psychology and morale of these soldiers running low on supplies, the harshest of winter conditions and being surrounded by German forces. And look Ricardo Montalban's in it. Huzzah!



9pm Cross of Iron (1977): To my suprise Sam Peckinpah only made one war film and this is it. Here we have James Coburn as Steiner, a German corporal and recipient of the Iron Cross leading a platoon of German soldiers in the Russia of 1943, when the German Wehrmacht forces had been decimated and the Germans were retreating along the Russian front. But conflict ensues when a new commander, Captain Stransky (Maximillian Schell), takes over the platoon and becomes increasingly envious of Steiner's Iron Cross. It's friggin' Peckinpah. You owe to yourself to check it out.

Next week: new night, new living room and some Wong Kar Wai. Classy!

I am not fucking happy at the moment.

After years of avoiding I decided to finally watch an online episode of Bait n Switch. Don't know it? Well it was a porn site in the tradition of Bang Bus but funnier in concept (though there are many out there who find Bang Bus funny. They're called misogynists.) where a hot girl in a van lures young men into the van, blindfolds him and he unknowingly gets sucked off by a dude. I don't know if there was some hilarious catch phrase when he took off the blindfold or what the usual reaction by the duped guy was 'cause when I came across the site or a link to it I was jerking off. And really I don't want to see some dude suckered into getting head from another dude while I'm jerking off. Which I guess is comforting since it means I'm not gay 'cause seriously I've been wondering lately.

Sadly it doesn't appear to exist anymore. At least by searching through 15 pages of a google search with "bait", "switch" and "porn" (yes the filter was turned off). So no hilarity for me. If anyone knows if it still exists give me a heads up. I want to see at least one episode to at least ease my curiousity.

In the meantime I guess there's always the BITCHMOBILE. The best is the one with the shy Christian dude.

My buddy Dave came over to give me tips on Photoshop while I worked on pieces for my portfolio. I so far only have six pieces so far and I need 16 to 20 to show.



The first is for my friend Nick who's going to start releasing tapes of his harsh noise. It's more of a test than what he'll actually release but I believe it's a step in the right direction. He liked it so that's a-ok with me. Second is a silk screen idea. Comments?

Finally finished paying off the Best Buy card yesterday. It was kinda cool 'cause the final bill was for less than $10. Easiest bill I've ever paid. Though I doubt I'll stop feeling the debt pressure until my MSPs and Overdraft are paid off. I'm cool with the VISA debt for some strange reason. Maybe I won't be after I take out the student loan. eeee. Feel weird that in my attempt to get a better paying job or career, to get a better handle on my low cash income, I decided to spend several years in school amassing larger debt. Seems backwards. Well at least I didn't take that abestos cleaning job in Surrey. Why that job appealed to me I'll never understand.

In a quest to keep writing I've decided to start posting reviews in an efforts to build up something resembling essay writing skills. Never being academically minded I've never put much effort into learning. So criticisms on simple things such as grammar and sentence structure would be appreciated.

RIO BRAVO (1959)

To quite a few people John Wayne along with Elvis represents the evil of the old rich conservative white male. He was friendly with Nixon and Reagan, supported the Vietnam War, advocated a "Hot War" instead of the pussy "Cold War" and of course there's this quote from a 1971 Playboy interview, "I believe in white supremacy until the blacks are educated to a point of responsibility. I don't believe in giving authority and positions of leadership to irresponsible people.". Dammit though if I want someone watching my back or desperately need approval of my character from it'd be the Duke.

I've only seen two of his films, including Rio Bravo, so I'm far from an expert but Wayne's screen persona is currently my ideal on masculinity along with countless others generations previous. I want to watch more to learn about honour, self respect and doing the right thing even when it seems impossible. Of course this could me gearing up for my Halloween costume this year (hint: his idol is John Wayne). In Rio Bravo all these traits I hope to emulate are on display.

Wayne playing small town sheriff John T. Chance arrests Joe Burdette, brother of powerful rancher Nathan Burdette. The rancher employs the services of many hired guns to get his brother out. With his loyal crippled deputy Stumpy, Chance deputizes local drunk Dude (Dean Martin)to help keep Joe Burdette behind bars until the marshal arrives. Further complicating things is Chance's blossoming romance with Feathers (Angie Dickinson), a card dealer who just came into town on the last stagecoach along with Colorado Ryan (Ricky Nelson) riding guard.

I was expecting a siege movie along the lines of Assault On Precinct 13, Act One ends, everyone's holed up ducking from bullets being fired into the building. Not so with Rio Bravo. The movie is waiting for Burdette's men to show and make a move creating more anxiety than thrills. During the wait we have to watch Dude deal with the DTs all the while trying to get his self worth back so he can be useful during the final shootout (before he was a drunk he was damn fast and accurate with a gun). Chance's "recovery program" for Dude certainly isn't the kindest following the lines of, "be nice to him and he'll fall apart in small pieces."

The romance, between Chance and Feathers, feels fresh and real, well as real as any Hollywood film from the 1950s can be. The awkwardness, regretful forwardness, regretful holding back and the flat out emotional anarchy (it should be said it was Feathers going through this emotional rollercoaster, Chance was too worried about the upcoming siege). Maybe these more observant traits were common in classic films but they aren't now when it's only every three or four years you might touch upon a film that has a clue how the emotion love actually moves a person.

Few words on Ricky Nelson who doesn't do much in this movie except look pretty, be good with a gun and sing a period inappropriate song. Gods, he's so pretty one of my viewing partners commented that he's metrosexual before there was metrosexual, I followed with the less clever observation that his face would make a good cum dumpster then the only girl watching with us said I look like Ricky Nelson which made me cringe with conflicting feelings.

Rio Bravo is now one my favorite movies and it should be yours. I can't wait to see it again. If anyone is looking for a gift for me a copy of the screenplay would be adored.

GHOSTS OF MARS (2001)

I'll be briefer on my thoughts on this John Carpenter film.

After reading several positive IMDB comments I ignored my friends' warnings and put this on hoping to see a wrongly maligned and overlooked gem. Those IMDB contributors are either overly forgiving or just stupid.

Set 200 years in the future a Martian Police Unit, consisting of Natasha Henstridge, Pam Grier, Jason Statham and Clea Duvall, are sent to a remote mining outpost to fetch and transport back outlaw Ice Cube for Martian justice. Unbeknownst to them (really do "them" ever really know?) at this mining outpost they dug up an alien artifact unleashing the spirits of the warrior ghosts who possess the bodies of perceived alien invaders, here meaning human, and kill the lot of them.

If I read the script for this movie and was aware of the cast and director I would've been convinced this movie was going to rock beyond compare. An aggressively lesbian Pam Grier, Jason Statham speaking, a villain by the name of Big Daddy Mars, Ice Cube and elements of Carpenter's successful past efforts (Assault on Precinct 13 and The Thing), these stewed together should have made a great genre effort.

Obviously inspired by such films as Bava's "Planet of the Vampires", Hammer Studios' "Quartemass and the Pit" and pulp sci-fi short stories of the Clark Ashton Smith variety, "Ghosts" fails to capture any sort of mood or atmosphere instead relying on getting to the next action sequence as quickly as possible. This leads me to believe this might not be Carpenter's fault, that there might be or have been a slower cut allowing for the aforementioned mood and atmosphere to settle in before the studio (here Screen Gems subsidiary of Sony Pictures) cut it more to their fast paced sensibilities. Only a theory but one that makes sense to me.

Ghosts of Mars is the most frustrating of movie watching experiences, the missed or fouled up opportunity.
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I've just realized these were my first written reviews ever. Let's see how much better I can get.