Lari the Leper

As you can see opened up this blog here. The reason? Awhile now I've needed a diary for myself to catalogue the massive screw-ups I'll make on my films. Just starting out on this whole life goal thing and I'm thinking I might not know everything that it takes to be any good. Just finished shooting a short that I didn't flog myself after watching dailies. That was pretty nifty. I only majorly (majorly apparently not a real word) compromised myself, and thus the work, twice but I'll get to that later. So this blog is partly a production diary and sadly yes dear reader, a place for me to bitch and moan about my personal bullshit. Sorry. I'm sure down the road I'll have over a thousand words on how I don't have a real personality, maybe even a soul. So fair warning this is more for myself than creating a dialogue on my innermost personal secrets. Hopefully none your innermost personal secrets that you have trusted with me over the years don't end up on here on public web space. Yep, got myself a place here to note artistic errors and successes (uplifting!) and a place to puke up turmoil, pain and yes kiddies joy and happiness. I'll try my best not to censor myself, unfortunately that means once in a while I'm gonna say things people don't want me to say or hear. You have been warned.
Focus dammit!
As I said! Just finished shooting a short film. Little comedy piece. People yell at each other, silly faces are made and the potential viewer will laugh. That's the plan at least. Got mostly good footage and the shots I didn't get good footage of was a result of me either not being specific enough or not pushing enough. Communicating the specifics should be an easy hurdle. I'm just a little scatter-brained in general so it's take's a little more effort on my part to blurt out the right thing I want at that moment. I've gone into long diatribes about how this will cut and the music I imagine for this moment when an actor asked, "Do you want me to walk to my mark like this or like that?". I MAY have overcomplicated things by not saying, "Yeah I want it like this.".
Not pushing enough? Now I'm passive aggressive, I fear confrontation. Say someone on set just isn't in the mood to do something. I shouldn't go, "Oh you're in a bad mood. Dang I don't want to do ANYTHING to heighten your stress. We'll just shoot this shot in the foot but hey as long as you're comfortable with this. I'm still an all right guy? You still LIKE ME right? YOU STILL THINK POSITIVELY OF ME!? Good. I'll keep the bitterness and disappointment towards you buried deep down inside which I'll express in a "joke" three weeks later. I didn't get what I want in this shot but whatever. CUT!". And theeennn I have a shitty shot that will devalue all the great stuff around it. So big no-no's from now on.
Oh yes I also compromised myself completely twice (still got good footage but I was not on the ball). What do I mean by compromise? By saying cut and moving on to another shot without getting exactly what I want. I settled and hopefully the short won't get fucked up as a result. The first time was on the second or third day (if I had diary then I'd know exactly when and why) because I just didn't know better. The second compromise was on the last day because I felt everyone (again myself included) was fed up with the whole thing. There was no love in the set. No excitement. Just getting it done. So from now on I guess I have to be a cheerleader as well.
Have an AD (Assistant Director) on next show. Someone to crack the whip and get everyone (myself included) in a professional mindset ready to work and keep them working for close to 12 hours.
So I need to not be so much with the mumbly, scatterbrained, passive aggressive directing thing and be more assertive and confident in the original idea and myself with the work. Or have an AD to not be those things and make sure the cast and crew don't know I'm a mumbly, scatterbrained, passive aggressive bitch.

See this being about boring personal shit. Told you so.

And it's poorly written too.

I'm editing soon so back with more...